Perfectionism is a legit issue, yet people around us treat it like a choice we make—“She’s just so hard on herself.”

The truth is that perfectionism, which is a big ole messy mix of ridiculously high standards for oneself, served with a double-dose of self-criticism, is on the rise in teens and it is a real problem.

In my experience, both personally and professionally, it seems that most of us girls and women assume the struggle gives us our edge and is the driving force that we need in order to succeed.

The truth is that perfectionism in girls is rooted in the internalization of the social messaging that tells us we’re not enough—not smart enough, interesting enough, savvy enough. For the 70% of us who struggle with low self-esteem, our negative thoughts feed right in to this and throw fuel on the fire.

Perfectionism has no pros. The unattainable goal of achieving perfection keeps us stuck and incapable of achieving much of anything long-term, anything that matters, anyway.

Take this QOTD as a reminder that regardless of your role in the school play, your grade on the history project, the size of your ass or the number of people in your friend group, you are a big deal. You’re perfectly imperfect and that’s good enough.