Confidence and self-esteem are not one in the same, but it gets confusing because the terms are often used interchangeably.

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance that comes from the appreciation of one’s abilities or qualities, while self-esteem is confidence in one’s own value. See? Very different!

For us girls and women, it’s not hard to increase confidence levels. Once we walk through the initial discomfort that comes with getting started, we’re quite diligent. We generally don’t hesitate to work full-force at getting better at whatever it is that we’re trying to do. If we set out to be good at tennis, we play tennis until we are confident in our skills on the court. When we have our sights set on becoming good public speakers, we walk through the discomfort and speak in front of as many rooms as it takes to become confident addressing a crowd. Girls are doers. You know it! You’re reading this right now ‘cause you want to get better at being you. Woot, woot!

Self-esteem is an entirely different story. It’s not about doing, it’s about being. That’s why increasing it is really hard. We’re not taught how to be okay with ourselves. In fact, we’re taught the opposite. Society fills our heads with messages about the types of things that are valued here. “Being” never really makes the list. Instead, it’s stuff like the size of our ass, our relationship status, our popularity, our grades, the number of people who follow us on Insta. It’s all bullshit and has not a thing to do with our true value.

So, it’s up to us to see our value and that of our friends, for ourselves.

The good news is that we girls and women make up 51% of the population.

If each one of us increases our own self-esteem by living our true value and shifting our focus away from hustling to be what society values, then we can change what’s valued here. We have that power, together.