It always amazes me how much we need to unlearn to be okay.

I, personally, went from buying in to all that society pushes on us from the time we’re small to seeing it so clearly and, in turn, seeing myself clearly overnight. It all becomes obvious and clear, when we’re ready to handle the truth.

After spending decades getting really good at doing this and that in an effort to like myself, I learned that we don’t need to be good at anything at all to be super-cool. What a waste of time and energy!

Here’s the deal: So many of us get caught up, thinking that if we get really good at a whole bunch of stuff, we’ll feel enough enough for ourselves and others, too. More lies we tell ourselves, ‘cause we don’t have the information we need growing up. In an effort to bring about your A-HA moment sooner rather than later, listen up.

If you want to become a better runner, you run.

If you want to become a better writer, you write.

If you want to become a better student, you study.

If you want to become a better dancer, you dance.

If you want to become a better you, one that you’re proud of and like, you try to be a better runner, writer, student, dancer. Anyone else see a problem here?

If you want to become a better you, you’ve gotta do you.

Running, writing, studying, dancing and all the other shit you’ve gotten good at doing over the past couple of years, won’t do shit to help you like you.

Only a daily dose of self-love can do that. And, don’t make yourself earn your own love.

Start by using some of the time you spend trying to get better at doing things to get better at loving yourself—make a playlist, just for you. Turn off your phone and read your favorite book. Take a bath and do a face mask. Whatever it is that lights you up, spend more time doing that. The only one who can gold medal in you, is you. So get practicing.

Art by Edinah Chewe.